Friendship

GirlsChatting with one of my best girlfriends sitting in her gorgeous great room, surrounded by kids charging around and drinking coffee {we were, not the kids, although that could explain the activity levels…}. While we talked the kids interrupted us, we laughed at ourselves and our latest escapades of what one can only described as hilarious failures and successes.  It was interrupted, imperfect and brilliant. Everybody, EVERYBODY, needs a friend like this. If you don’t have one chat away here and make some friends, consider yourself at home and preciously valued.

In the midst of hilarious conversation, we got on to the topic of female friendship and how no matter how nice you are there are some people who just don’t love all that we may have to offer in the personality department, you know what I mean… There is no offense or hurt, it’s just one of those things, you can’t please everybody. We discussed how this is just a normal part of life and no big deal.

My precious friend then said something that reminded me of what has been a growing shift in my attitude about this. “When I was twenty that would have really upset me, I would have been really hurt and wondered why someone didn’t want to be my friend.” As she said it It thought, YES! I would have been devastated, sitting around wondering how someone could not possibly like me, what had I done, not done, did I somehow offend them…

Back another decade to Year 5, now that’s a rough time for girls. In  my experience this is the year where friends will actually tell you why they don’t want to be your friend, who their friends are in ranking order and why you don’t make the grade. I don’t think the whole friendship grading fiasco leaves our hearts for a while. We carry it with us, wondering if the out loud verbalization of friendships has now become a subtle choice where we are no longer privy to the information or grading, you just have to work it out yourself.

But then something wonderful happens, there comes a point when it just doesn’t matter anymore. You realize that you have friends who walk with you through it all, laugh and cry with you, give you Lindt Balls to make a Mocha because you are that desperate for chocolate in your coffee and there’s no judgement, {bless you lovely} you move on to chatting about life and all that is important. You also realize everyone is walking a journey and grace is needed in all our friendships, especially the ones where it’s a little trickier. {Everybody has a story, no one has it perfect or all together, not even those who look like they do}.

Best of all, the friendships you do have become so much richer as you share your hopes, joys, fear, anxiety and dreams and then become each other’s cheer squad. Championing your friends to stand up out of everything that says not you, not now and encouraging her to step fully into the calling God has laid ahead of her. This is my absolute favorite, watching ideas become reality as you pray for and encourage your friends. {I cannot even wait to share with you some of the things my friends are doing, incredible}.

If today you are feeling the sadness of someone not diggin’ your vibe, don’t even worry, we all have that, you seriously can’t please everybody. Count yourself blessed with the friends who love you just as you are and love people the same way back, just as they are, then sit and enjoy a good Mocha, it is one of the finest things in life.

Love, Grace and True Friendship for your day,

Rachel x

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